I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize