I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
