I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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