Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
