I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
