just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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