He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
