I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
