What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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