Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
