For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
