Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
