One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
3pm strippers are depressing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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