I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
