o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
