I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize