You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
