why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
