There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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