can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
