shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize