Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
