It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
