fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
