bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize