i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
