mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize