we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize