it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
