He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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