shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
