you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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