...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
