Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
