I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
being pregnant is like rehab
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
