Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
