why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
