My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
