what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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