The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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