we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to have your abortion
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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