Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
