why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
