He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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