So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
