the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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