Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
