...so i touched it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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