So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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