So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
