you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
