another moral hangover. fuck.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
