hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize