sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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