how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize