8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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