she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
