I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
