Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
