And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We smell like vodka and hangover
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