im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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